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Friday, March 27, 2009

Academic Types

Folks, in a way, I'm a nerd myself. I have a lot of respect for bright, inquisitive minds. However, I often feel uncomfortable being around academic types. I've met some academics I really liked, but those were rare cases. I once realized, to my great surprise, that I feel much more comfortable and happy around a group of uneducated, drunk, and cursing dockers from Louisiana than around professors at a conference.

In my mind, there are two archetypes of academics.

Type I: "Loser"

  • Nerdy-looking
  • Bold
  • Looks exhausted
  • Likes to talk, but doesn't like to listen
  • Divorced/never had sex
  • Doesn't even look like a man
  • Works at a teaching school

Type II: "Harvard Business School Professor"

  • Tall
  • Good looking
  • Successful with women
  • Smiles a lot
  • When you talk to him he smiles and acts very polite yet you read "I don't give a fuck about you" in his eyes
  • Doesn't look like he is full of himself, yet he really is

Type III: "Imbecile"

  • Seems to be very exited about the useless things he works on
  • Looks and acts like he is on Prozac
  • Laughs a lot
  • Despite his cheerful ways has a bad sense of humor: laughs at things which are not funny
  • After returning from a conference in an exotic country, all he talks about is his hotel accommodation and food he had eaten
Type III: "Teenager"

  • Somewhat of a rebel, i.e. does very fuzzy qualitative stuff in a field dominated by quantitative research
  • Very critical to the corporate world
  • Has a sober and cynical judgment
  • A bit intoxicated by his "coolness"
Type III: "Satan"

  • Seems to enjoy torturing PhD students
  • Is obsessed with power
  • Very manipulative
  • Will not tolerate anyone disagreeing with him
  • Full of himself
Type III: "Senior Scholar"

  • Seems to be very happy with his life
  • Has a good sense of humor
  • Very hard to surprise or impress: he has seen it all!
  • Achieved a lot mostly due to his good personality and excellent people skills

1 comment:

  1. I've just stumbled upon your blog. You missed a category of Academics- Women! I'll read on.